Be-YOU-tiful {Practicing Good Habits}

A woman's self worth can by determined by so many variables. How we, as women, perceive others by defining ourselves has a lot to do with our own self worth. We know who we are, what we love, and what we stand for, but we often forget this tried and true definition of ourselves when we begin to consider others' falliable opinions of our worth. Self-worth can be determined by just about anything. For example, whether or not we're in a committed relationship, what we scored on our last math exam, or (many would say, most important) how many likes we get on our Instagram posts. And, as much as we all cherish our social media, I feel that it's safe to say true confidence and social media simply do not go hand in hand most of the time.

Social media, namely Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook are truly addictive. The  compliments we receive on a cute post with our love interests, or the plethora of likes we  attain on a photo with our most beautiful sorority sisters often cause our egos to swell.  Conversely, when we are sitting at home stressing about our math homework or, even  worse, are experiencing utter boredom due to a lack of plans, we experience  overwhelming jealousy upon viewing these posts that we feel of which we should,  somehow, be a part.

However, we often fail to consider one of the fundamentals of social media,  the one my mother always reminded me of in high school—no one posts about the  negative, unfortunate, or boring occurrences in his or her life! The girls who get 300­ some-odd likes (are you really friends with all 300 people?) don’t post on Instagram about the horrible  fight they had with their best friend last week, or how they’re waiting by their phones for  one measly text from the guy they’ve been interested in for weeks, who obviously has  other things on his mind. They, instead, post about the fun they’re having out at dinner or  partying with their closest girlfriends.

This is a wise tactic, but believe me, every single human being has a bad day every once in awhile.. Even Beyoncé. Therefore, let's not fall into these predictable patterns of comparison- THEY ARE THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL and the murderer of confidence.

We each are beautiful, inside and out. This is a lame, cliché, overdone concept but  we somehow STILL have a hard time accepting this fact of life! Each of us was perfectly,  thoughtfully created out of love and, here’s the kicker, WE WERE MADE DIFFERENT  ON PURPOSE. I mean, hello, are we forgetting about our fingerprints? So what  we’re shorter or have bigger teeth or curlier hair than the girls who are sitting to our right and left—this was not an accident,  ladies. We aren’t all supposed to be identical twins to Jessie James­Decker, so why are  we behaving so naively?  Let’s make a vow—starting now, comparison is off­limits! No if’s, and’s, or but’s!

Let's all make it a point of focus on and, more importantly, be grateful for each of our own beautiful defining qualities. Let's practice positive self-talk and tell ourselves "This is how I am supposed to be." Let's reconsider our definitions of self, and ultimately how we determine our self-worth. Let's forget about how many likes our ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend gets, and remember that no one in his or her right mind posts photos of the bad stuff in his or her life. Let's remember to take all forms of social media with a grain of salt, keeping in mind that there are much, much more important things in life that we could be fretting over (for example, world hunger or how in the world I'm going to pass any of my classes at this point in the semester). Let's throw our perceptions of how others view us out the window and practice loving ourselves by our own self-definitions of what makes us beautiful. And let's finally feel beautiful BEING OURSELVES while our confidence flourishes!

Written by Guest Blogger, Carlisle Sandy; Edited by UNA Panhellenic

Be-You-tiful {Through the Media}

                  As I flip through the new addition of People magazine, I check out all the perfection and drama that is the epitome of Hollywood. I envy Carrie Underwood’s entire life. I mean, she has perfect legs, a perfect husband, a perfect baby, and she can sing. It really isn’t fair to all the rest of us. I also scoff at the celebrities who have let their bikini bodies go. I am constantly consuming media for celebrities. At any given moment, my TV is sure to be on E!. I wouldn’t dare miss a rerun of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. If Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds never got married, I would be little less complete. Hello, #relationshipgoals. We are always looking up to celebrities, but have you wondered what this media is doing to our self-esteem and overall confidence?

Being a college girl and a regular consumer of popular culture, I look up to celebrities. I envy Lauren Conrad’s collection of Chanel purses and the amount of Louboutin heels Blake Lively owns. If I only was as pretty as Hayden Panettiere or as witty as Jennifer Lawrence. It makes me feel as though I am not adequate enough. Okay, I know I’m never going to be famous, but maybe I can take an Instagram picture as good as Kylie Jenner.

Media creates this world where celebrities seem so much more important than normal people. Magazines only have certain girls on their covers. If you are thin, you are seen as beautiful. Media doesn’t like to celebrate different. Because of that, consumers like to hide their differences. Growing up I had bright red hair and pale skin. I didn’t feel confident because I thought the most beautiful girls had blonde hair and tan skin. Where did I get this idea? Media. But I think our differences are what make us most beautiful. Now, I think my hair is my best physical feature. It makes me stand out, which I love. I think it’s beautiful when a girl who is 5'11" is confident enough to wear heels. It’s refreshing when girls are confident enough to not wear makeup. So what if Beyoncé has a thigh gap? We should all feel beautiful in the skin were in.

Media has also created unrealistic expectations in the relationship department. Yes, I’m talking about The Notebook. We should all be looking for that guy who treats us right and with respect, but chick flicks have given us a form of fantasy. Sorry to burst your bubble, but a man probably isn’t going to build the dream house you described when you were 16. It just isn’t realistic. This causes unhappiness when that doesn’t happen to you. We are not in the Upper East Side, and you may not have the Chuck to your Blair, but you can be happy with the life that you have. We are all blessed in so many different ways and we should not lose confidence because we don’t have the "perfect" relationship.

Why do we idolize celebrities so much? For example, Carrie Underwood seemingly has the perfect life. I’m envious of her body, her husband, her singing talent, and her beauty. Every single one of these things is shallow. All of the reasons that I find myself inferior to these people are all superficial. Where will Carrie’s legs be in 10 years? Where will Kendall Jenner’s selfie taking ability get her? Most of the reason we are so consumed with celebrities is temporary. We should admire someone because they’re beautiful not only outside, but inside as well. The only thing that will matter in years is who you are on the inside. Outward beauty and fame is temporary, but being a kind, genuine person lasts a lifetime. The confidence you have in yourself should not come from Instagram likes or having the perfect beach bod, but in striving to be your best self.

Post Written by Guest Blogger, Sarah Wilson; Edited by UNA Panhellenic 

Be-YOU-tiful {Confidence}

As a fellow member of the female population, I am here to be the first one to tell you that I have, and still, struggle with feeling confident in who I am. I doubt and discredit myself daily. Confidence comes in ups and downs. Some days it seems like I just don't have it in me to accomplish my goals, reach my dreams, or even make it through the day. While other days, with the right outfit and a good hair day, I feel like Beyonce..... Can anyone relate?

See, the thing is, most of us girls measure our self-worth by comparing ourselves to other people. Whether she is more successful, smarter, prettier, has a better personality, has a "perfect" relationship, gets more likes on social media, goes to a "better" school, and the list could go on for days. We discredit ourself: our own abilities, ideas, talents, passions... the things that makes us who we are. Our own individuality. It is so incredibly easy to feel like we don't measure up. I know personally this has always been a struggle for me. "Comparison is the thief of joy". True statement. But comparison is also the thief of confidence, self-worth, and ultimately, individuality. 

The problem is that we base our own worth off of the approval of other people. Even if we don't like to admit it. We post a picture on Instagram and don't feel good about ourselves unless we get at least 100 likes... and we scroll through the "likers" ten times to see who approves of it. Filter, edit, crop. We take and retake a picture because we feel ugly and wouldn't dare let someone see us on social media when our faces are bare and hair is a mess. 

But, in reality, our individuality is beautiful. Being unique is an adventure. It makes life interesting and exciting. Different goals, passions, talents, and ideas are useful and absolutely necessary. Our differences makes us who we are and we should embrace them and learn to {l o v e} ourselves rather than beat ourselves up. 

This post is for everyone who is struggling with not feeling good enough. I know it's hard when we constantly compare ourselves to others and lose sight of the fact that we were created for a purpose. A purpose that is part of a greater picture we might not even understand at this twenty-something inbetween stage of our lives. We have different qualities and quirks and they make us uniquely and individually beautiful. 

Embrace you. Embrace the fact that your hair curls at the ends and your thighs touch. Embrace the size of your waist and the number on the scale. Loving yourself is the most freeing and beautiful thing you can ever do. 

Because no one can be a better you. No one has been through the exact struggles that you have and no one can fulfill the plan of your life except you! At the end of the day all you have is yourself. When you lie down to go to sleep and your thoughts race, remind yourself that you are the person that you are for a reason. You are on this planet for a {u n i q u e} purpose and that is an amazing thing. Believe in yourself because you are more beautiful than you believe, smarter than you think, and stronger than you.

Post Written by Guest Blogger, Summer Richardson; Edited by UNA Panhellenic